My life as a white-knuckle ride

I've searched for my centre of gravity so many times in the past few weeks I probably know more about gravity than Isaac Newton. (I have three meals a day, a decent house to live in, plus family and friends who care - I know I have it very lucky. But my feelings don't always see it that way)

30 days ago my dog died, so my internal Nikkei Index plunged 1000s of points.

Then I had two gruelling job interviews with a quango, which left me filleted; hung, drawn & quartered; sliced'n'diced and hung out to dry. However I didn't care terribly as nobody died.

Next I went to the Crewe Live '09/Volume Festival and heard so many great up'n'coming bands, that with purely natural adrenaline and serotonin induced by the music and the energy of the crowd, I was high as a kite for days.

After this the fact of towering, looming redundancy hit hard, with the realisation that there's just one remaining pay cheque between the wolf at the door and I. (I like to keep him on formal terms.)

This was followed by an invite to a job interview - elation!

For about 30 seconds, until terror sets-in.

No worries, I'm off to a party to celebrate my local radio station, The Cat. Where a band dedicates a song to me, unprompted; there's another great band, Chloe; lots of the DJs say Hi as my name seems to have spread among them due to my fairly incessant emails to them for requests, dedications, expressing how much I appreciate the station, etc. And I er, win the raffle. Three times - lots and lots of lovely CDs, ah heaven. There are heaps of talented, interesting people to talk to including the woman who runs Cheshire Nightspot, the brill photographer Simon J Newbury, presenters and behind the scenes people from The Cat, my friends from the animé club, the aforementioned musicians themselves, the Crewe Blog author and his lovely wife - and many more. So I'm on a complete - and utterly natural - high.

The morning after, je me sens désolé. Have to grit my teeth and force myself to work on my presentation for Tuesday's interview.

And so we come to tonight where I decide to get it all out my system, by making you, dear reader, suck it all up. Bon appetit!

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